Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
