yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Where is the hickey?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
