dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Still dying that you shit outside
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
