I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
