i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize