Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
