I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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