I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
