You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
