So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I looked at my own cervix.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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