Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
