dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
