Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
