My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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