Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
