you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
