I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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