So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
