if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
