I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
