You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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