That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
