I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
