i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
