and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
