Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
are you so shy because you have an std?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
vagina is talking i cant
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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