you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
