I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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