you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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