Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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