this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
