do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
