You smell like stripper and shame
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
