i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
