I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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