omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
