Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
