we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Alive.
So much puke
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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