Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
