Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
