Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
