Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
