are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
