you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Quick, to the slutcave!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
