i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
