can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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