we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
