I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
