how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
