I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
