No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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