yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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