420 ftw
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
