id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
