Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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