Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
