Already got asked if we're dating
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
