Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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