his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
