i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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