Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
