So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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