So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
