just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
