Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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