well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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