i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize