and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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