he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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