Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
