I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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