Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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