If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
