ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
