After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
